I suppose I've been putting this entry off because I didn't know what to say. The first part of August I was admitted to OHSU for a week of testing. From it I learned I do not have epilepsy, but we're in the right "-ology". I also learned that any last hope I had of returning to school for Fall semester was completely and utterly extinguished. When I asked about Winter semester, as I would need to be making plans relatively soon, I was told "not to worry about school right now". Tonight, after a long battle with BYUH's "medical deferment" policy, I officially discontinued. I feel sick to my stomach and completely exhausted. It's hard to spend a lifetime working hard, giving my all to reaching a goal that's dangling just out of reach. I know I'll get through this and I know I'll be able to return to school, just not now. It's like I'm told I can have my favorite dessert, AFTER I finish all the liver and fermented spinach on my plate. I don't want the gross dinner that's staring me in the face. I just want my yummy dessert. Unfortunately life's not always sprinkles and chocolate.
So, for the next few months (I'm still putting a heavy hope on returning to BYUH in January) I'll be continuing my medical journey of blood sausage and monkey brains, enduring only because I know what awaits me at the other end. The doctors may say it's very unlikely I'll be able to return for Winter semester, but that's only because they don't know me. I'm a very goal-oriented person and once I set my mind on something, I make it happen. Did you know it's medically been proven that people can will a wart off of their foot? Oh the power of the human mind and will-power. So bring on the pig intestines and cockroaches. This girl's got the stomach for anything placed before her. What wouldn't I do for a slice of chocolate haupia pie from Ted's?
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