Want v. Need

Today I felt better than I have in a while and it made such a dramatic difference!  I was even able to go outside for a bit.  Fresh air is God's medicine.  It did me some good to play with Henry, my sister's six month-old corgi, and to pull some weeds around the house for my mama.  I even got some good mediation practice in and got Henry and Zipper, the very ornery family cat, to coexist in harmony through a lot of petting and and cooing; in many ways animals are a lot like toddlers.

Today was all about the little pleasures in life.  I felt accomplished when I got the animals to play nice for the first time.  I felt proud of myself when I was able to do something nice for my mom by pulling the weeds.  I felt connected when my family watched America's Best Dance Crew together and "voted" on our favorites.  I felt merry when Erica and I took funny pictures together that never came out because we were laughing so hard neither one of us could hold the camera still.  I felt light when I cleaned off and uncluttered my nightstand.  Sometimes I think our society focuses so much on the "importance" of filling space we forget the value in just letting space be space.

I've been reading several books on minimalism over the past few months and have done a great deal to declutter every aspect of my life.  When you live with a chronic health condition time and energy become even more precious and valued for their rarity.  I view my energy as money that must be budgeted; each day I wake up with an allotted budget and must spend it wisely.  Consequently, prioritizing has made its way to the forefront of my attention and the focus of my personal studies. 

With poor health comes bountiful time to think about many things most people my age haven't had the need or occasion to think of.  For this, I am grateful.  Life doesn't ever go the way we plan but in the scheme of things, I don't want it to.  My vision is so very limited with the blinders of perspective and experience I don't have.  When I think of the plans in life that didn't come to pass because of circumstances out of my control I see how devastated I was in the moment, but then I see how much better things were with the way they turned out.  I know what I'm going through will be for my gain in the long run.  The lessons it's teaching me and the person it's helping me become is far greater than what I could have ever planned for myself.   I'm so very grateful I have not always been given what I want in life, but rather, what I need.